How I’m feeling as an Asian American?
It’s been a couple of weeks of news headlines, marches and we’re beginning to open the books to the stories of Asian Americans throughout our country. It’s just a start and as the words start to take shape and sound from the lips of those who’ve lived through them and speak them out loud - I hope anyone and everyone who hears them - listens… to understand; opens their minds to learn and take comfort in the uncomfortableness of speaking about their own processing and inadequacies - we’re all in this together.
I can’t say I’ve figured out all my “feelings” and thoughts. So much has flooded my heart and memories of my lifetime as an immigrant, Asian American woman in our country. By many accounts, I have achieved professional success, through grit, ambition, moxy, resourcefulness, determination and drive. Much of that comes from how I was raised, the socio-economic conditions of our family and my upbringing, and definitively, the psychology of being from an immigrant Asian family.
While I sort through my experiences and reflect going forward, I’ll start with this:
I believe the circulating number of hate crimes against Asian Americans are grossly under-reported.
My mother has never reported the numerous times she has been mugged over 5 decades. My aunt who lived in the low income government projects in the LES of Manhattan never reported her numerous muggings and assaults. My grandfather, who was robbed in an elevator and further shamed when forced to remove his trousers, so he wouldn’t run after the perpetrators, never reported the crime. I never reported the altercation and robbery I physically engaged in on an elevator ride with my mother and young brother.
We’ve “learned” to let racist words and perceptions or office “jabs” roll off our backs
We have a lot work to do figuring out how to embrace one another for who we are and I acknowledge we have a lot of work to do within ourselves as a community of many cultures.
Some of the attributes I have carried on as a model Asian American should no longer be how I choose to live:
Keep quiet and don’t cause a fuss is not right - if a wrong, a crime, an injustice has been committed
“No one will care or do anything about it” is not a good enough excuse to be silent
Silence is not always “golden”
Suffering in silence is not a “virtue” if it contributes to the mis-identification of our community or worse yet, erroneously signals acceptable behavior of those who choose to discriminate, hate and victimize
I am just beginning to discover how and where my “voice” contributes to my AAPI community, the immigrant community, the women’s empowerment community and our multi-dimensional global community, and the corporate world , at large.
